Forever and Always (Oneshot)
Every now and then
i thought of you
It has already been 2 years since I saw you
but you presence still lingers around.
2 long years.
I've forgotten everyone i've met except you
That illness that seperates us is still with me
the doctor say that theres no cure and one day, I'll forget everything and die
Yes, I'll forget everything but you're still there.
In my Mind
In my Heart
In my Soul
You wouldnt leave or is it my heart wouldnt let you go?
The memories is never forgotten
Or at least I dont want to..
I was thinking about you again
I was staring at the sky until..
"Eunra? Eunra!" Jinyoung called me
I went back to reality "yeah?"
"are you okay?"
"hmm.. I think so, why?"
"Nothing, It just that you were staring at the sky again"
"Dont worry, I'm fine". But deep inside i know i wasnt.
Another year had passed.
The doctor say I'll die soon.
1 month left
Only 1 month
Memories about you is still clear
Even memories of Jinyoung (who claim) to have been with me for these years isnt clear anymore
But you, someone that I have not met fot 3 years, is still very clear
Your face, your name, your body, your everything including
the pain i felt that day, when i last saw you, when i left..
"yeah?" I replied still staring into space
"stop staring at the sky.Theres nothing for you to see"
i look up at you with teary eyes
i've been thinking if i should tell you and i decided to just break up with you
"Lets break up" i said,tears falling from my eyes
you were shocked and you started to panic
"why? did i do anything wrong?"you hold my face to make me face you
"I dont love you anymore" i cried even harder
My heart hurts.
but i know someday we'll still seperate and it would hurt you more if i were to leave later
"okay" you said
i were even more sad when i heard this but i was happy too
Both was because you didnt insist
"If thats how you feel now..."you said
i could tell,you were crying
Sorry Hyuk.Im Sorry
-End of Flashback-
That was the last time i saw you
The time when i lied
saying that i didnt like you anymore
but i didnt mean it.
coz up till now, I still love you. Alot.
Now that i have only 1 month
I decided to see you once more.
or i'll never be able to meet you again
i know i'll disappear from your world.
Now im on my way to your house
I still remember where it is or how to go but im worried you have moved.
Reaching.. Im reaching
My heart is beating
It is still beating for you
I step out of the cab, staring at the gate
Its still the same but are you still here?
I walk towards the gate
Why am i still nervous?
"Eunra, is that you?" I remember that voice
Its you. You're still here
I panic. I dont know what to do
So i started to run. I ran away
"Eunra dont run!"
I started crying.
I stop running when i saw you were trying to catch me.
I was tired. Tired of running away
I have to face it. I have to face you
"Eunra, why are you running away?" you called out panting
my tears didnt stop as i turned around looking at you
you walked closer to me
you cupped my cheeks wiping away my never ending tears
"dont run away from me anymore"
I couldnt stop my tears.
"dont leave me anymore"
I cried even more at this sentence
Leave. I'll denfinitely leave you
and this time it will be forever.
"I love you eunra" you said as you planted a kiss on my lips
Those lips that i remember
Those soft plump lips had landed on mine again
how i miss them
yo pull away from the kiss
"You didnt pull away so i supposed you feel the same way too". you teased.
"Hyuk.." that is all i managed to say before my mind went blank.
I was walking home when i see a figure in front of my house's gate
As i walked nearer,i found the figure very familiar
"eunra is that you?" i called out to make sure i didnt recognise the wrong person
the person tensed
"eunra?" i called again as i walked nearer
suddenly she began to run
I saw her face and i was right
"Eunra Dont run!" i shouted and chased her
Finally and suddenly she stopped running
"eunra"I said panting from the run
"why are you running away?" i asked and realise she was crying
I walked nearer to her.I miss her so much
I cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears
"Dont run away from me anymore"
She didnt stop crying
"Dont leave me anymore" i said,fighting back the tears that threaten to fall
"I love you eunra" i said the words that i've never said in a long time
the words that haunted me these 3 years
I love you eunra
i really do
And i leaned forward, planting a kiss on her lips
those lips that i missed so much
I pull away and teased her"You didnt pull away so i supposed you feel the same way too"
"hyuk.." she said.I miss her voice!
and suddenly she fainted on me
i was shocked
i carry her and ran to my car and drove to the hospital.
I was asked to stay outside while the doctor check My eunra
i prayed hard
"Eunra .please. nothing must happen to you"i prayed as i sat on the chair outside
"Eunhyuk?" i heard a voice and i looked up
"What did you do to her?!" He screamed in my face as he pull my collar, forcing me to stand from my previous position
"I didnt do anything" i replied
"I know..." he said calmed down and let go of me
What did he meant by he know?
"What do you mean?" i asked
"Sorry that i reacted that way.I know you didnt do anything to her but she fainted again just worries me" he apologised
"Again?" i asked
"you want me to repeat?"
"No.I meant what do you mean by fainting again.Eunra fainted before?"
he hesitated for a while and said"yes"
"Why?" i asked worried
"You'll probably know later" and he sat down gesturing me to sit next to him
I sat down thinking
why didnt she tell me?
Why did she faint?
Whats wrong with her
Gosh Im worried!
Finally the doctors are out
"Who is Mrs Lee..."
"im her boyfriend" i cut the doctor
"Okay and you are her?"the doctor asked Jinyoung
"Friend" and i felt releived at his word.I didnt know why.Maybe its because i was afraid something is between Jinyoung and Eunra
"Mrs Lee's condition is stable now but she is weak.Her time left are not much.Probably a week"
"A week?!" jinyoung and i shouted
"But the previous doctor said a month!" Jinyoung shouted
"It was only an estimation.Nothing is 100%.So now according to her condition,1 week" the doctor said and walked away
"Whats wrong with Eunra?"i tried to keep my tears as i asked jinyoung
"Incurable disease.Its causing her to forget everything until she die"
I couldnt fight my tears anymore as i kneeled down and cry
Why? Why must it be her? the woman that i love the most?
She left and came back and will be leaving again in 1 week's time
and Forever i will not be able to see her anymore
"Eunhyuk.Dont cry cry anymore . it wont make her life any longer. Go Find her now and make her happy for the last week.Its a miracle that she even remebers you." jinyoung said,tapping my shoulders and left
I ran into Eunra's room after i dry my tears
i cant let she see my tears
not when she is now weaker than me
I entered and found her sleeping
I sat down on the chair next to the bed
My baby look so peaceful in her sleep
I push away the hair covering her face and kissed her forehead
"Eunra i love you"
I stayed in the hospital the whole day
"Eunhyuk" someone called me
I turned to the door and saw jinyoung
"I knew you would still be here.I bought Dinner.Has she woke up?"
"Thanks for the dinner"I said as i take the packaged dinner
"and no. she has not" i sat back to my chair and ate my dinner although i didnt have appetiete
But i have to eat to be healthy so as to take good care of eunra.
I ate slowly
Eunra when will you wake up?
After i finished,i stood up which startled Jinyoung slightly
"Jinyoung,Could you help me take care of Eunra for a while?"
"Where are you going?"
"restroom" i said and left the room
On the way to the restroom
flashback of the memories Eunra and i shared came back
I miss her smile so much
I must make her smile again
when i went back,Jinyoung wasnt there anymore
I saw a note on the side table
Something cropped up at home .I will leave Eunra to you.Make her smile and laugh from her heart again.Make her truthfully happy again.Thank you.
I then look at Eunra
"Even if you didnt say so,I would make her smile again"
Then,I sit down on the chair next to the bed and hold her hand
"Wake up soon.My love"
I feel tired.
I fainted again and this time in front of Eunhyuk
I still remember he said he love me and kissed me
I opened my eyes slowly and realise im in the hospital
i wanted to stretch my arms but one of my arms was pulled down
I looked to my right and saw the only person i remembered
My hand was tightly hold on by his and he is sleeping with his head rested on my bed
"Hyuk...I love you too." i said hoping he would hear also hoping he wouldnt
if he heard, he would know i still love him but i dont want him to suffer after i leave
i cant be so selfish.I cant make him suffer
"I know" i heard and that broke my thoughts
i look and saw Eunhyuk already awake holding my hand smiling at me
"you heard." i said and looked down
"look Eunra.I already know that you're sick.and i believe thats the reason you left.so can you comeback to me? stay with me please"
"no.Hyuk.you dont understand.Im sick i'll Die I'll still leave you"
"I dont mind"
"Lee Eunra! Im telling you i care! i care that you're dying and that you will leave me! And because i care, i want you to be happy ! i want to be with you even if its just one week! " he suddenly yelled
I was shocked by he sudden action
After i shouted,i regretted
i shouldnt have shout at her
i look at her eyes that got teary
i was startled.
i reach for her face and kissed her lips
"sorry eunra. i didnt meant to scare you or shout at you but..."
"Dont be. i know.i should be the one apologising. Sorry " she said and smiled
i miss her smile
"This week.Be with me" i said and she nodded
For the rest of the week, i brought Eunra to everywhere
Making her laugh making her smile
1 days. Just 1 days left
Im now hugging Eunra tightly with her sitting on my lap and head resting on my chest.
we're in the ferris wheel now.I've book the whole ferris wheel for the day for her.
we've sat on it since morning
we ate our breakfast and lunch on it
Im hugging hoping that we wont seperate but i know we would
For the last time,i kiss her and she responded
for the last time, i hugged her which she gladly hugs back
At night,Eunra fell asleep
We are at the peak of the ferris wheel
i kissed her again but she didnt respond
Because she left.
She had left me forever
"I love you Eunra." And i brought the cold and lifeless body to the hospital
In the hospital,the doctors said a lot of thing but i couldnt get them into my head.
She left. the person i love is Gone
"Mr Lee?Mr Lee!"the doctor brought my sense back
"I found this in the deceased's pocket and i think its for you" and he hand me a letter
"Thanks" and i left for my car
In the car,i opened the letter
To my dearest Hyuk
I think when you're reading this im already gone.I wrote this letter to tell you that im really sorry that i left you.Im really thankful for the fun and memories you gave me.And lastly I love you.I really do.Lets meet in our next lives.Promised
My eyes watered as i put away the letter and started the engine
Same to you Eunra
Sorry, Thank You and I love you
Suddenly i felt pain invade my body and found myself lying on the road in a pool of blood
i flew out of my car,im bleeding,im dying
Eunra im going to find you
Then we can be together again.Eunra we'll be together again
I miss you.